(Originally featured in Authority Magazine)
Interview with Avani Shah conducted by Dr. Kate Lund
In today’s fast-paced world, children face numerous challenges that can impact their emotional well-being. Developing resilience is key to helping them navigate these obstacles and grow into emotionally strong individuals. How can parents, educators, and caregivers foster this resilience in children? As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Avani Shah.Avani Shah is the owner and CEO of Therapy Smarts, a pediatric therapy clinic helping Triangle families turn challenges into triumphs for nearly a decade.With 25+ years of experience practicing as a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP), Avani specializes in the evaluation and treatment of children with a variety of speech- language disorders including phonology/articulation, apraxia, voice and fluency. Avani encourages a family-centered approach to the therapeutic process and emphasizes the role of caregivers and a child’s community in helping children achieve their goals.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your backstory?
I was born in Mumbai, India, and raised along with my sister by a single mother, who infused the values of perseverance and hard work into both of us, from a young age. Inspired by the opportunities in the United States, I set my sights on a career in the paramedical field, hoping to build a career that would have a meaningful impact. Soon, I realized that the field of Speech-Language Pathology (SLP) was the correct choice for me, because it combined my goal with my love of working with children, and teaching them the skills needed to thrive in their own lives.Devoted to my goal, I completed my Bachelor’s degree in Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology at the Ali Yavar Jung National Institute of the Hearing Handicapped in India. Shortly thereafter, I married my husband, and moved to North Carolina in 2002 to continue pursuing my education. I earned my Master’s in Education in Communication Disorders from North Carolina Central University in 2005.
I have always worked in the private practice setting, providing children with individualized and hands-on support. After almost ten years of practice, I wanted to make a greater impact — and so, I launched my own multidisciplinary clinic, Therapy Smarts. My goal was to create a holistic support system for families, covering services across speech-language pathology, physical therapy, occupational therapy, ABA therapy, and mental health services, all under one roof.
My personal story of resilience has influenced every decision I have made with regard to my business and the support we provide to help children develop the resilience and emotional strength necessary to endure life’s challenges.
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to your particular career path?
Growing up in India, family often takes precedence over professional goals, particularly for women. My goal was to find a path that combined passion and practicality — balancing my professional aspirations with my desire for a stable family life. I wanted to be in the medical field, while avoiding the unpredictability of emergency calls. I also knew that children were my ideal patients — babysitting and tutoring children was my favorite pastime as a teenager.
Initially, I intended to enter the world of physical therapy, excited by the possibility of helping children improve their motor skills. However, as I was waiting for admissions to open, a family member suggested that I explore speech-language pathology. In India, SLP programs are often pursued alongside audiology, and I was fascinated by the possibility of obtaining a comprehensive understanding of both hearing and communication disorders. This dual understanding has served me well throughout my career.
Over 25 years later, my journey has allowed me to blend my passion with my professional goals, while continuing to learn and improve upon the services offered by our clinic. I am proud to lead a comprehensive, diverse and multidisciplinary team of expert therapists who are equipped to address the unique needs of families throughout our area.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on raising resilient kids? In your opinion, what is your unique contribution to this field?
Beyond my role as a business owner and speech pathologist, I am the mother of two sons — my authority comes from over 25 years of practice treating children through a variety of speech and language-related challenges, as well as my firsthand experience navigating the challenges of parenting.
With eight years overseeing a multidisciplinary clinic, I have elevated my skill set to consider each child holistically, building individualized plans to build a child’s physical, emotional and social resilience. At the same time, my perspective as a mother helps me ensure that these plans are achievable and relatable for those in a child’s support system — parents, grandparents and other caregivers. This approach allows us to offer a well-rounded, evidence-based support system that empowers children and families to thrive.
Do you have a favorite life lesson or quote? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
One of my favorite life lessons served as the mission statement for our clinic — “Turning challenges into triumphs.” I have endeavored to incorporate this philosophy across my professional and personal life.
I had a formative experience during my undergraduate studies that helped to fuel this philosophy. While studying speech-language pathology, I was placed into a school for children with hearing impairments. As this was the late 90s, hearing aids were not prevalent, with many children primarily using Indian Sign Language (ISL).
We were excited to organize a cultural program for students and their families to celebrate India’s Independence Day. I was tasked with teaching a group of second-graders to perform a traditional Indian dance. The children had never participated in a group dance like this, and other teachers were initially skeptical on how they would perform.With perseverance and dedication, I connected with my students and taught them the dance, in its entirety.
Not only did they learn the dance, they performed it beautifully for their families and loved ones. I will never forget the joy and pride in their parents’ eyes when the dance concluded. Many were moved to tears, having never imagined their children participating in this kind of group performance — and the smiles on the children’s faces have been a cherished memory of mine ever since.
It is these kinds of moments that I hope to replicate through our clinic. Every child’s struggles are unique, but with individualized guidance and a deep understanding of the needs of every family, our clinical team is dedicated to turning every step into a triumph — showing children their potential and enriching their family life.
How can parents handle situations when a child faces failure or disappointment? What strategies can parents use to help a child bounce back?
Parental modeling is essential in order to teach children to process, persevere and ultimately overcome the challenges that lie ahead in their lives. Seeing their parents effectively regulate themselves when experiencing disappointment is a valuable evidence-based observation that they too can handle big emotions — while also providing a comforting reinforcement that you are a source of emotional strength.
As an example from my professional experience, I had a young patient facing severe speech delays which required multiple intensive therapy sessions each week. Despite balancing a demanding job, and the stress and exhaustion each dimension brought to her, the child’s mother approached every session with unwavering optimism and dedication. She went above and beyond to celebrate every achievement, and remained composed when setbacks occurred, actively modeling them as learning opportunities for her child.
Rather than fall victim to any of the frustrations she experienced, she actively demonstrated healthy resilience to her child each day, teaching them that challenges are an expected part of learning, and how important it is to persevere to achieve a goal. Naturally, her child began to mirror her positive outlook and attitude and it fostered their own determination to succeed in their therapy sessions.
In my own journey as a mom and clinic owner, I strive to model resilience for my children and for the families we support. I believe that demonstrating how to navigate challenges with resilience, positivity, and grace is one of the most powerful ways to help children develop their own emotional strength.
What approaches do you recommend to foster a growth mindset in children, encouraging them to see challenge as opportunities to learn?
You know your own experience better than anyone — sharing how you overcame adversity in your own life is essential, when appropriate for your child. Talk to your child about your plans and goals when you feel challenged and how you have learned from a difficult situation at work or with family and friends. Share constant processing on how you will use a difficult situation to help propel you forward and how you have done it in your past and, most importantly, how having this mindset have allowed you to be in the place you are today.
How can parents balance providing support with allowing their children to experience and overcome difficulties on their own?
As a therapist and a mom, I understand that the balance of support and experience is delicate, but critical for children to develop healthy resilience. For parents looking to strike that balance for themselves, I would recommend:
1. Supporting, Not Solving
When it comes to supporting your child’s resilience, sometimes the most difficult thing to do is to take a step back. Consider a newly-minted butterfly struggling to escape its cocoon. As we watch it fight, it is natural to feel empathy and want to help — to cut the cocoon ourselves. However, it is exactly this struggle that helps the butterfly to strengthen its wings and be able to fly on its own. As parents, we’ll naturally want to keep a close eye on our children, but be mindful not to jump in too early and accidentally clip their wings.
2. Provide a Safe Space for Failure
So, your child tried something new, and things didn’t pan out in the way they (and you) had hoped. Acknowledge their feelings and the experience they endured — discuss what they are able to learn from their setback. Offer encouragement and highlight the strengths they do have, whether that is a specific skill, or the willingness to try something new.
3. Teach Self-Advocacy
Encourage your child to be able to communicate their needs. Practice how they can take a step back and register how they are feeling. From there, you can practice how they might approach a teacher or a friend to ask for help, or express a concern, to help build their confidence.
What self-care practices would you recommend for parents to maintain their own resilience while going through the everyday challenges of raising children?
A parent’s emotional resilience is like a pitcher full of water, which is filled through effective self-care. Developing that same resilience for your children will require “pouring” a bit of that resilience from your cup into theirs — which means that all parents should take the time to ensure that their own needs are being met, to regulate their own emotions.
Self-care is anything that helps to center or calm you. Consider three dimensions: physical, social and spiritual. By balancing these holistic needs — such as getting enough exercise, spending time with friends and finding ways to give back to your community — you can ensure that your pitcher is well-equipped to keep you regulated, while supporting your children on their own emotional-resilience journey.
Can you please share “5 Strategies To Raise Children With Resilience and Emotional Strength”?
Raising children with resilience and emotional strength is essential for their long-term well-being and success. As both a speech-language pathologist and a mom, I’ve seen the profound impact that specific strategies can have. Here are five effective strategies, each supported by real-life examples:
- Model Resilience
Ensuring that you are demonstrating resilience in your own life is critical to effectively conveying this skill to your child. For an interesting dinnertime conversation, consider sharing an experience with your child where you had to overcome an adversity in your daily life — then, with your example in mind, encourage them to think about the ways in which they have demonstrated their budding resilience.
- Celebrate Overcoming Adversity
Did your child have a breakthrough moment? Whether it was making it through a doctor’s visit without crying, or approaching a new friend at the local park, take stock of them overcoming the things they find challenging. Process how difficult that situation was, the ways in which they persevered, and highlight the positive outcome they have now.
As an example, one of my young patients struggled with reading comprehension. I made sure that we celebrated each improvement she made, no matter how small, while discussing the value of persistence. Over time, she truly embraced the idea that effort leads to progress — which vastly increased her confidence and ability to achieve her academic goals.
- Talk About Difficulties
Children are extremely perceptive, so avoid the instinct to sweep challenging situations under the rug. Foster open communication and create achievable plans to navigate the situation, together.
For example, a child in our clinic experienced anxiety before a major presentation at school. We worked together to practice calming techniques and provided a safe space to acknowledge her fears. By validating her feelings and utilizing them to build a plan for presentation day, she was able to manage and overcome her anxiety to hold a successful presentation.
- Enable Emotional Expression
Bad day at work? Feeling anxious or overwhelmed? Consider this as a teachable moment for your kids. Once you’ve managed to navigate the situation for yourself, share how you can react in the moment — and, when their own struggles arise, allow them to express their own emotions.
My own children faced a difficult transition when we moved to a new city. To support their emotional expression, we introduced them to activities like journaling and mindfulness to help them process and regulate their emotions. Over time, they learned to use these techniques to navigate other stressful situations in their lives.
- Embrace Positive Thinking
By consciously modeling a positive mindset, you can encourage the same in your children. Do your best not to ruminate on the negative — positive outcomes increase when your actions match the lessons you are trying to teach.
My clinic team faced unexpected delays during a challenging project. I ensured to openly discuss the issue with my team and prioritize finding solutions rather than dwelling on the problem. When my children saw this at home, they were able to mirror my problem-solving approach for their own setbacks.
By integrating these strategies into daily life, parents can help their children build resilience and emotional strength. These approaches not only equip children to handle life’s challenges but also foster a positive and adaptive mindset that will serve them well throughout their lives.
How can mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques be incorporated into daily routines to support children’s emotional resilience?
Mindfulness activities and other activities that encourage emotional regulation should be included in all children’s daily routine. It can be as simple as stating a few positive affirmations “I am smart, I am loved, I am proud of myself, I am resilient” before school or before bed, something that does not take up a lot of time, as time can be scarce for families. Teaching mindfulness activities such as journaling, which can take a little longer, is also a very beneficial tool to learn how to sit with your feelings, be mindful and help with dysregulation.
Are there any specific tools or resources (books, apps, courses) you recommend for individuals looking to improve in this area?
For those looking to enhance mindfulness and emotional regulation, there are several excellent tools and resources available. Drawing from my experience in both professional and personal settings, here’s a recommended book, app, and course that may be helpful:
Book: “The Whole-Brain Child” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Why: This book offers practical strategies for understanding and fostering emotional resilience in children by integrating insights from neuroscience with everyday parenting techniques. It also provides actionable advice for parents on how to support their child’s emotional development and self-regulation.
App: Breathe
Why: Breathe helps you learn to stop and take deep breaths throughout the day based on the timer you set. Doing guided meditation which can be found as an app or even on YouTube can help with learning coping skills, grounding skills and self-regulating skills. Books, meditation, yoga, and exercising are other great tools that can be used to improve your mindfulness.
Course: “Sky Kids” — by Art of Living (for children aged 8–12 years)
Why: This course supports children’s well-being by teaching techniques that enhance peace of mind, clarity, focus and emotional stability, and nurturing values like respect and a sense of belonging. It equips children with the tools they need to manage their own stress and emotions, enabling them to excel in every aspect of their lives.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why?
I would choose Shri Shri Ravi Shankar, the founder of the Art of Living Foundation. I am inspired by his profound insight into spirituality and the healing power of meditation.
As a mom and the owner of a multidisciplinary clinic, I face significant stressors every day. As I embarked on my business journey, I knew that bolstering my emotional resilience would be essential in order for me to show up effectively for my family and my business. I came across meditation, and found Shankar’s work, resonating deeply with his teachings on mindfulness and resilience. Through his teachings, I have learned how best to live in the present moment and appreciate life more fully.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Our clinic runs a blog where I and our expert therapists share our unique tips and insights for parents who are facing a developmental delay for their children.