Tackle Mental Health Together: Empowering Your Child With Open Communication.
By Ms. Delia, Licensed Professional Counselor
Research suggests 1 in every 7 kids is facing a mental health struggle— and you don’t need to look far to begin to estimate why this number is on the rise. From a global pandemic to ongoing attacks in our schools, the already-tumultuous landscape for kids and adolescents is changing faster than ever before.
Amidst this chaos, it’s essential for your child to be able to share his or her concerns and feel empowered to seek support. In this blog, we’ll explore some of the warning signs for a mental health struggle, and ways you can create a safe and supportive space for your family.
Be Curious
The most important thing you can do for your children’s mental health is to be curious about them and everything going on in their lives. Every kid is different — which means that there is no one-size-fits-all handbook to determine if your child is facing a mental health concern. However, you know what is normal for your child’s personality. If your talkative child seems to be a bit more subdued, or your quiet child is starting to lash out more often than usual, it may be a good time to approach a conversation about seeking support.
When spending quality time with your child, be an active listener. If they mention an issue they are facing, even in passing, it can help to inform recent behaviors and moods. Your child will feel empowered to speak more about their lives if they feel what they are saying is being listened to. This — difficult as it is— includes providing an immediate solution to their problem. Instead, consider asking follow up questions like:
- How does that make you feel?
- Why do you think that happened?
- Have you thought about what you want to do now?
Finally, keep the lines of communication open with your child— if they shut down during your conversion, let them know that you are around to listen and consider checking in, later.
Stop The Stigma
Maybe you’ve already noticed a problem with your child, and believe that seeking the support of a professional may help your family. Research shows that talk therapy (also known as psychotherapy) leads to improvement in 75% or more of patients. Unfortunately, there are still many stigmas surrounding seeking mental health support— meaning that approaching your child about the situation can be difficult.
As a parent, do your best to take away the stigma of seeking help across the board— whether it’s for math tutoring or mental health. Part of this de-stigmatization requires parents to have a few conversation starters on hand, to consciously address your concern without your child needing to feel defensive. This might include beginning a conversation with questions like:
- “It seems like something is up lately— I’m here to listen, if something is bothering you.”
- “Things have looked a bit different since school started. How have you been doing?”
- “Want to go to [favorite restaurant] and catch up?”
Trust, Not Timelines
Of course, the number-one question on every parent’s mind is something like: “When will my child get better?” Like many physical conditions, mental health conditions are complex and multifaceted. While therapy is key to working through these troubles, it is not the kind of treatment that can be put on a strict timeline.
Oftentimes, the quicker a problem is recognized, the more impactful it will be to treat. Our brains form habitual patterns for everything we see, hear and do and these automatic responses strengthen over time. Therefore, the sooner negative thought patterns or behaviors can be identified and addressed, the better.
The “end goal” of mental health therapy is to reach a point where your child feels better in his or her everyday life. This can range from a span of months to years, based on the specific goals your child wants to achieve, and how they are able to implement new coping strategies into their everyday life.
Concerned your child may be facing a mental health struggle?
Resources are available throughout our community. A few free resources you can look into include:
- Seize the Awkward: a website designed to support starting, facilitating and addressing conversations around mental health.
- National Alliance of Mental Health (NAMI) NC: a program & website offering resources for kids, teens and young adults struggling with mental illness.
- NC DHHS Child Behavioral Health Resources: a source for links, access and more information around behavioral health services for NC children.
At Therapy Smarts, our mission is to turn challenges into triumphs and give every family the tools they need to thrive in their environment. If your child is struggling with mental health, give us a call at (919) 378-1340 to set up an evaluation.